Nickelodeon recently announced its plan for future direction and programming, which includes everything from a series led by Cam Newton to a revitalization of some ’90s classics, including the short lived fan favorite Legends of the Hidden Temple. The adventure game show inspired by Indiana Jones will be adapted into a live action movie, featuring three siblings who become faced with their own series of obstacles inspired by those of the original series. As a loyal fan and an avid viewer from six to eight years old, I consider myself an expert on the necessary ingredients that are vital to the recipe for success. So as the self-appointed representative of ’90s nostalgia fandom, I give you the list of things we want, no, need to see in this adaptation.
The network has indicated the game show’s famous talking head, which was clearly so big because it was full of wisdom, will make an appearance in the movie. However, whether Olmec will be voiced by Dee Bradley Baker, who is as much a part of the temple as the head itself. No one knows what’s “hidden” in the temple better than Olmec, and Olmec just isn’t the same without that signature voice. And besides, how else would the children of today learn important history lessons?
Everyone blames millennials for acting so entitled because the spirit of hard work and competition has been diluted by the concept of participation trophies, but I beg to differ. Have you seen the prizes this show gave out to the teams who lost each round? I think the prospect of getting a VHS of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids just for showing up would be more than enough motivation for me to avoid failure at all costs. Although, if I remember correctly, one of the prizes was a supply of Nestle chocolate milk, and if that happens to be the case, expect at least one of these characters to surrender himself to the fate of the temple guards just for a chance at a taste of the chocolatey dream come true. This brings us to…
I don’t care who you are, these bastards were, and still are, completely terrifying. Forget puzzles, games, and trivia questions, the most intimidating obstacle that could possibly exist in a live action version of this game is the likelihood of being captured by a temple guard. If Nickelodeon is at all interested in giving its audience (both young and old) a bit of a scare, all they have to do is insert a few of these bad boys. Temple guards invaded my nightmares more often than Freddy Krueger, and this film wouldn’t be the same without that familiar adrenaline rush.
The Purple Parrots
Maybe it’s because purple is my favorite color, or maybe it’s because of my tendency to root for the underdog, but I always found myself cheering for the Purple Parrots to pull through. Although the official word is that members of each team were always chosen at random, the Purple Parrots were statistically the worst performing team. The Silver Snakes were consistently the best, with the second highest temple run attempts and the highest temple run wins, so naturally they came off as the bullies of the bunch. Maybe it’s because their mascot is a serpent? Silver Snakes in Legends of the Hidden Temple, Slytherin in Harry Potter, see where I’m headed with this? A green monkey, red jaguar, and of course, a silver snake are all reportedly locked in to make appearances in this film, so where’s all the parrot love?
The Silver Monkey
Nobody ever assembled the monkey properly on the first try, it just didn’t happen. Second to only the temple guards, the Shrine of the Silver Monkey was the bane of every contestant who ventured in to the hidden temple. That base piece really was hard to reach. Although I’m sure these characters will have more daunting tasks to dominate this time around, it’s only appropriate to do something to pay homage to the always dependable, always devious silver monkey.
There you have it, folks, the only things we ‘90s adolescents need to keep us happy. Did I miss anything? Give me your top 5 in the comments below!
Featured Image: Nickelodeon