Super Bowl Sunday isn’t always my thing. The Lakers never make it to the playoffs anymore and the Red Sox constantly disappoint. But the commercials? Those are worth tuning in for. Except for this time because they weren’t anything special. We’ll forget about them in a week or so. Movie trailers? Now that’s my jam. My jimmy jams.

Honorable Mentions:

The Best

Without a doubt the best Superbowl trailer. The Fast and Furious franchise is filled with cliched dialogue and goofy tendencies. It’s also about family and saving the world with cars. It’s dumb material but it’s not dumb in its execution. They’re aware of their strengths – which happens to involve some practical stunt work with the occasional explosion of CGI car crashes. At the center of it all is a widely diverse cast of men and women from across the globe kicking ass and fixing cars. Now Jason Statham threatens to destroy this lovable ragtag group of former DVD thieves (YEAH. That’s how it all started)? Not in Toretto’s house! Oh, they blew his house up. Shit just got real. I’ll be there opening night.

You’d have to be crazy not to consider the possibility that Jurassic World will fail on every level. After the first movie, there have been more Jurassic Park movies, but never a true SEQUEL. World seems to be a mix of both. What could be a cheap cash grab also has the potential to be commentary on consumerism and life continuing to find a way. Worst case scenario: It’s another Jaws 3 but at least people are going to get eaten in creative fashion. And more flying dinosaur action scenes! Glad to see director Colin Trevorrow also agrees that was the best part of Jurassic Park 3.

I love Brad Bird. His movies ride this fine line of settling between great and amazing. Structurally perfect? Probably not. But he wholly succeeds at what he sets out to do. Every. Damn. Time. Tomorrowland has been billed as the Harry Potter of science fiction. It also has the potential to be a major cash grab for Disney. Watching this trailer, there’s a sense of wonder to the world. Clooney’s voice soothes me into this world of unlimited potential.

The Worst





It was really a toss up between Hot Tub Time Machine 2Ted 250 Shades of Grey, and Insurgent. So why not give all four the award for worst trailer?

HTTM2 tries to play clever by incorporating current events of deflated balls and Patriots into thinking they’re clever (because they’re so clever ICYMI). The inflation of Adam Scott’s scrotum is funny in the same manner Blue Mountain State is funny (it isn’t).

Ted is a decent comedy that nowhere near deserves the praise it got. Ted 2 seems like it’s interested in telling an actual story but now the jokes seem even stupider, and not the good kind of stupid. Somebody should tell Seth MacFarlane satire isn’t an excuse to be as racist, sexist, homophobic as possible. Okay, none of those problems are present in this particular trailer but I know we’re all thinking it.

I’ve voiced my concerns of 50 Shades of Grey in another column already. I dove into the book headfirst and came back with grave concern for everyone who finds this book erotic in any capacity. Mental breakdowns aren’t sexy people. The trailer itself doesn’t exude sex either. The book is ass but if you’re going to bill yourself as the sexiest movie to ever grace the big screen, own it. Let the viewers catch themselves breathless from the steamy trailers. Don’t look like you’re promoting a horror movie.

“Depends what kind of franchise they cooked up in that lab” Oh, Insurgent of the Divergent series. If somebody cloned The Matrix‘s baby and ripped out the DNA of every generic Young Adult series out there, we would get you. Your marketing is perplexing in all the wrong ways. I couldn’t remember if I saw the first movie based on the first trailer. Now I can’t believe you’re real. “SHE. IS. THE. ONE” as the finale of Man of Steel surrounds Shailene Woodley. Pros: This will most likely give Dave another opportunity to write about Shailene being the best part of another crappy movie.

The Most Okay

Terminator: Genisys is leaving me cold. There’s some cool imagery with the villain Terminator looking like a Husk from Mass Effect. Other than that it all looks fine. Maybe it’ll be dumb fun. This movie could be the most entertaining movie of the year but it’s still a slap in the face to “There is no fate but what we make” mantra from the first two masterpieces. Still, Emilia Clarke is our Khaleesi and we must support her.