Category: Lists

Happy Birthday, Thor! 5 Roles I’d Like to See Chris Hemsworth Occupy

Ever since I saw Thor, and subsequently that photo of him holding his infant daughter carefully in his large, muscular arms, I have been a Chris Hemsworth fan. Not only can he wield that hammer authoritatively, he can hold babies attractively, too. What role wouldn’t I love Chris in? But, for the sake of time, here are five (hypothetical) roles I’d love for Mr. Hemsworth to play. Christoph from Frozen The only way to make Chris Hemsworth more attractive (apart from providing him with a newborn to hold) is to make him the co-adventurer of a determined young woman,...

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Running Wild for Sixty Years, Brother: The Five Best Hulk Hogan Cameos

Today, brother, we’re gonna take a trip through the acting career of Hulk Hogan. Hulkster rips through movie cameos the way his 24 inch pythons ripped through the WWF. Hulkamania got its start in the squared circle, but Hogan always had his eye on the silver screen.  To celebrate his 60th birthday, I’ve listed  his top 5… well, not necessarily good, but his top 5 appearances on the big screen, brothers!  So, grab your vitamins and say a prayer because whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania on the silver screen run’s wild on you! 5. Rocky III I wonder what the writers/producers where...

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Five Underrated Animated Films You Need to Watch

  Guys, I love a good animated film, but often, as my colleague Josh Rosenfield established yesterday, many of the best ones are under-appreciated.  Ask anyone under the age of forty about their favorite animated films:  the Toy Story series, The Lion King, Spirited Away, familiar classics are the first to come to mind. And yes, these standard, well-known films bring tons of joy to viewers and have their spots amongst the greats. But, with a deeper look you can find films that offer much, much more. Let’s take a look at the top 5 most underrated. 5. South Park:...

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50 Best Space Adventure Movies: Part 2 (#25-1)

For those of us just joining, please check out the previous 25 picks here so you can get an idea on the criteria for this list. Here’s where we get into trickier territory in picking the Best Space Adventure Movies. Some movies might be better products overall, I’m judging them primarily on their status as Space Adventures. So don’t freak out if *spoiler alert* E.T. the Extra Terrestrial doesn’t top the list (I’d be a lunatic not to include it at all). Movies that take place primarily in space will succeed over movies that only have a few scenes...

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50 Best Space Adventure Movies: Part 1 (#50-26)

I’m going to preface this with one important thing: There are not many great space adventure movies. Seriously. There aren’t even many good space adventure movies. So, when Marvel announced Guardians of the Galaxy, a team of cosmic superheroes even I knew little about, I began compiling a list of space adventure movies to help measure where GotG would stack up on release. Turns out that there are so few good space adventure movies that I had to stretch the criteria a bit: 1) Movies must involve outer space as a driving force of plot and character action OR primarily...

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10 Horror Metaphors You Might Have Missed

When I watch a horror film, I’m always subconsciously looking for its themes, asking myself, what’s the allegory here? I’m a firm believer that the horror genre effectively reflects cultural anxieties, and hopefully this list will provide readers with some proof of that tendency. In chronological order, here are the 10 horror metaphors to prove the richness of the genre. 1) ______ of the [Living] Dead (1968—2009) No disrespect intended for one of my favorite horror film icons, Mr. George A. Romero, but it felt appropriate somehow to consider his zombie-saga as such—a series, each installment of which has its...

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Many Worlds: 5 Fantasy Novels That Need Movie Adaptions

Mythical nymphs and druids, spells and incantations, battles of sword and wand. In both Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings series, the films offered a temporary passport from the mundanity of our lives to a land of enchantment, or of peril, or intrigue. Like many of the movies currently dominating the theaters, the tale of the orphaned wizard and the journey to destroy a ring originated as words inked on paper. Words formed into sentences. Pages bound to pages. From those words we heard a voice that was certainly not our own, but of the character forged amidst...

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Five Reasonable Sequels for The Purge Franchise

The concept of The Purge and its upcoming sequel The Purge: Anarchy is predicated on the notion that people commit crimes out of a basic human inclination towards violence. Therefore, the films’ fictional lawmakers posited, taking out one day of every year to allow people to get out all of their violent urges would lead to far less crime during the rest of the year. But the film doesn’t specify that only violent crime is legal. It says that all crime is legal. Putting aside the fact that people might commit crimes for reasons other than ingrained violent tendencies,...

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Video Killed The Radio Star: Best And Worst Musicians Turned Actors

This month Adam Levine makes his big screen acting debut in Begin Again.  The verdict is still out on whether or not this is the beginning of a flourishing Hollywood career for the Maroon 5 front man, but he’s far from the first to attempt the crossover from musician to actor.  Let’s take a look at the some of the biggest hits and misses in the world of radio turned video star. Best 5) Barbra Streisand Although Babs can be an acquired taste, you can’t deny her talents.  With 8 Grammys and 2 Oscars (one of each in the same...

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The Most Jarring Final Shots in Film History

Intro I try to keep things topical here at Audiences Everywhere.  That’s not always an easy task, with the lightning-fast attention span of internet traffic and the movie news cycle chugging ahead of the weekend releases with a focus on announcements regarding movies whose production hasn’t even started yet.  Which makes it all the more noteworthy that I have two reasons of contemporary relevance to introduce this particular subject.  Today sees the nationwide opening of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, the latest chapter of a franchise whose first installment ended with one of the all-time great final...

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Dinner and a Movie: the Best Films for Foodies (and what to eat while you watch)

Like salt and pepper, tomatoes and mozzarella, bacon and… well… everything, food and film just go well together. Whether it’s the actual acts of eating and film-watching (AKA dinner and a movie), or the omni-presence of food in film, the two are inextricably (and deliciously linked.) And when the film is actually about food? I guarantee by the time you get out of the theater you have a craving for whatever you just saw served on screen. So this list is for you food-lovers out there – some of the best films for foodies, with suggested recipes (of course!)...

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“This Shit Sells Like GOLD!” A Michael Bay Career Garbage Dump

Let’s face facts.  Michael Bay does not care what we think.  For the rest of the summer his name will absorb the vulgar wrath of film fans like you and me, but Bay won’t even flinch. Michael Bay may have just spit in the face of your childhood memories with Trans4mers (so spelled because Mark Wahlberg has a tough time with “big words”), but this morning he probably tipped a masseuse by giving her a Corvette.  Michael Bay didn’t even finish letting loose his latest diarrhetic bowel movement into the Transformers bucket before studio executives lined up the TMNT bucket...

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They Keep Coming! Movies With Too Many Sequels

Michael Bay’s Transformers franchise has to be one of the most criticized, scrutinized, and laughable film franchises in the history of the big screen.  And yet, here we are, one day away from the release of a pointless fourth installment, which will undoubtedly be critically panned and yet bring in enough money to buy Michael Bay his fifth mansion.  As we prepare to endure a weekend of internet rage, perhaps it will ease the collective cultural mind to remember that while it might be the most inexplicably and dishearteningly profitable, Transformers isn’t the first film series to wear out...

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Around the World in 11 Movies

School’s out, the days are getting longer, and that means two things: summer and VACATION! The Grand Canyon, the Eiffel Tower, and the Great Wall all beckon. Unless of course you’re too broke or too lazy (or both) to plan a trip any farther than your back yard. But never fear – you can travel the world vicariously through these travel movies, all without going on a frantic hunt for your passport. Bon voyage! Under the Tuscan Sun: Italy Ever dreamed of chucking your sad-sack life and buying a villa in Tuscany, taking an Italian lover, and eating fresh pasta every day? Then immerse yourself in a different pace of life with Diane Lane, Sandra Oh, and this cast of stereotypical (but charming) Italian characters. From the sunflowered fields of Cortona to the Positano coastline, you’ll see some of the most gorgeous parts of Italy, and your taste buds will tingle at the thought of all those fresh olives and tomatoes. Snuggle up with a bottle of Chianti and you might actually feel like you’re there. Eurotrip: European grand tour You know why the world hates American tourists? This. This is why. But if you dream of doing Europe the American way (i.e. 3 days, tops, in all the capitals, with a stylin’ money-belt and huge-ass camera) then this is the film for you! There’s even a nude beach,...

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10 Movie Dads You Don’t Wanna Mess With

Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there who spend their days trying to ensure the safety of their entire family.  It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.  There’s not much in this world a dad won’t do for his children (in real life and in the movies), whether it’s teaching them right from wrong, making sure vacations and holidays are successful, or even saving their lives.  So in honor of  the amazing things fathers do for their kids every day we bring you 10 Movie Dads You Don’t Wanna Mess With.  In no particular order, because there are no losers here. John Quincy Archibald: John Q Nobody messes with a man and his family’s health care.  Although John Q is a lackluster movie that checks every box in your typical hostage situation playbook, Denzel Washington manages to portray a compelling  and desperate character.  He takes his wife’s words quite literally when she demands for him to “do something” as the hospital releases their son when they can’t manage to come up with the down payment to keep their son on the heart transplant list.  Taking over a hospital with a gun is not at all an overreaction, right? Daniel Hillard: Mrs. Doubtfire Although at first glance Daniel Hillard seems to be a carefree, sloppy, reckless father, as time goes on he proves he’ll go to any lengths to...

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