Category: Lists

16 Greatest F-Bombs in Film

Introduction The preeminent film in all things excess, The Wolf of Wall Street, fittingly sets the world record for the highest f-bomb count in any major motion picture. The ambivalently crafted Scorsese picture showcased an irreverent portrayal of notorious, real life Wall Street trader Jordan Belfor, stirring up controversy—in small part—due to the profanity. A staggering 569 f-bombs engulfed the 180 minute run time, putting the cursing count at 2.81 uses per minute. Just imagine the fucks per minute if Scorsese would have edited the flick. “Fuck” truly may be the single greatest word in the English language. But when the four letter offender gets diluted in a pool of excess expletives, it reduces the value of each. Scorsese is no stranger to profanity-ridden films; Casino ropes in 422 f-bombs, while Goodfellas is close behind with 400. Neither made my final cut. If you want a word to have impact, use it sparingly—or well. In honor of this record breaking swear-fest, I’m counting down the list of my top 16 greatest f-bombs in film. 16. Snakes on a Plane (2006) “I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” –Neville Flynn This Saturday Night Live caliber sketch turned feature length film has always bewildered me. It’s neither scary nor funny; Snakes on a Plane is ridiculous, stupid, and—somehow—a cult classic. I would bet that this was the only...

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The Ten Worst Athletic Performances by Good Actors

Introduction Before I was a small-time movie writer, I was a high school athlete, believe it or not.  I love sports and I love movies.  And I can say with some degree of certainty that these two worlds should not ever intersect.  There have been some delightfully atrocious performances by big name actors in movies about sports.  Hey, don’t get me wrong, you don’t want to see my point guard teammate perform a soliloquy, either.  Hand my halfback a movie camera and all you’ll get in return is some high grade shirtless mirror selfies.  These two worlds just don’t...

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100 Most Hated Movie Villains (#70-56)

Introduction Now we’re turning the corner, closer to the worst of the worst.  This is like the institutional floor above the floor where Clarice Starling had the semen thrown in her face right before she met Hannibal Lecter.  While for some of you hardened bastards, the first thirty picks might have offered opportunities of debate, from here on out, defending the character of the entries might be a telling sign of sociopathy. 70. Smith, The Matrix Pick your reasoning here: his mechanical orneriness, his sneer, the way he says Neo’s name like a doctor getting ready to reveal the...

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100 Most Hated Movie Villains (#85-71)

Introduction Hopefully, our first installment helped to establish what we’re hunting for here, because it’s only going to get more vile with every iteration. And I want you to be ready.  The first segment of our countdown covered multiple genres, animated and live action, gangsters, serial killers and evil spirits.   So I think, if nothing else, we’ve proven that we’re  non-discriminatory in our hate for villains.  Women, men, and… wait a minute…  Did we cover children? 85.  Kevin, We Need to Talk About Kevin Aw, you haven’t seen the movie?  Cute, isn’t he?  Well, marked by the moment...

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Beth’s Guide to ‘Super’ Dating

Fans of the comic book/superhero genre are bound to be delighted with the spring/summer movie lineup for 2014.  With the likes of Captain America, Spider-man, and Wolverine all headlining the most anticipated movies of the next few months, all of the women out there also have some serious eye candy to look forward to.  Ladies, even if you aren’t digging the superhero genre, please heed my advice and make the trip to the theater just to see these men in tights, literally.  In celebration of this wondrous occasion, I thought it fitting to share with you my own personal...

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100 Most Hated Movie Villains (#100-86)

Introduction Well, after a month of being a live website, I think we’re ready to do what websites do:  assume an entitled sense of self-importance and present a pretentiously definitive list.  Consider it a cathartic exercise, an airing of our historical movie grievances.  Let that hate flow out so we can get back to the parts of the film we love. Rules and criteria for the list will be defined as the entries are listed, but generally, we’re working down through villains who are increasingly disgusting, vile, evil, sadistic, hate worthy.  Get your bile ducts warmed up.  Here we...

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5 Failed Tough-Guy Lines

I consider myself an expert on badass movie one-liners for one reason:  I’m a pacifist.  Every day in my normal existence, I encounter instances in which I wish I could come up with an on-the-spot quip of strength, brevity, and intimidation.   In my imagination, I roll through the office like Snake Plissken, leaving a cloud of awesome in my wake.  Say some meeting is taking way too much time.  My impulse tells me I should hit em with “I’ll be back” and bail to the strip club.   Or half the office is mad at me because I...

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A Cinematic Playlist: 10 Examples of Great Pop Music Cues

Music is a powerful cinematic tool. It can accentuate directing, acting, and cinematography to make a great scene better than the sum of its parts, it can elevate a normal scene into an iconic scene, and it can manipulate viewer’s emotions in pivotal turning points. Effective and memorable uses of music are one of my cinema guilty pleasures. A great movie doesn’t have to have memorable music cues, but if it does, it will hold a special place in my heart. I’ve gone on a journey through some of my best film memories and compiled a list of some...

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9 Great Movie Pranks for April Fool’s Day

We all love a good practical joke.  Even our earliest scholars and authors have recounted tales of playful tomfoolery.  The art of pranking has become much more prevalent since methods of mass-communication have evolved.  Matter of fact, one of the first pony express telegraphs ever sent was a simple note: “Suck It.”  It was this act that spawned the phrase “Don’t shoot the messenger.”  Maybe. In more recent times, the great Orson Welles sent widespread panic to the whole nation with his iconic War of the Worlds radio broadcast.  Despite being fooled millions of ways and millions of times,...

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12 Literary Adaptations That Need to Happen

Look, I’m going to make this pronouncement on this site until someone comes after me:  When it comes to literary adaptations, sometimes the movie is better than the book! Shawshank Redemption?  The movie is better!  Snow Angels, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Shining.  Better movies than books. To Kill a Mockingbird. Damn right I went there. What’s wrong with you literary cowards!  Attack me!  Throw a Nook at me!  Do something! Now, I’m not saying that these hypothetical adaptations would be better than their source material, but these works could make a nice intersection for some of...

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