We have all had to deal with the individual who asserts that any artistic experience is subjective and opinions can not be wrong. As a freshman undergrad, my poetry teacher explained to her class that there were, indeed, wrong answers. “There are many wrong answers,” she said, “but there is never one right answer.”
Today is Honesty Day. And for AE, this is our second year of collecting the secrets that our readers are less than comfortable sharing openly in a public arena. Our stated intention for Honesty Day is to showcase the prevalence of outside opinions, to establish an environment in which we recognize that we are all, on one topic or another, an outsider. But let’s try to go one step further together this year.
I challenge you all to read every single opinion that we have collected below. Then, measure your mind and body’s reaction to each one, particularly those you disagree with. Is your knee-jerk thought “What’s wrong with this person?” or “Huh. I wonder why someone would think that?” We have nothing but smart readers here, and I’m 100% certain that everything that was sent to us in response to our inquiry is a right answer sitting atop an articulate and intelligent explanation.
But, each of these submissions also represents an opinion that its holder is uncomfortable presenting in a public forum. So hopefully, this collection might help establish a little empathy, a a greater respect, and a lot of curiosity.
Because each of these confessions should represent a conversation we should all be eager to have, without animosity or judgment. Honestly, I believe that. Here we go…
Starting Off Strong
I do not think Leonardo DiCaprio is a good actor.
Nothing New Except What Has Been Forgotten
Marie Antoinette is not only a great film, but the best film of 2006.
This Is This Is The End?
Every time someone mentions This Is The End, I swear everyone in the room chimes in to declare how much they love it. Both close friends and critics I respect have held it up as the best comedy in years, but I just don’t get it. I laughed once at Michael Cera, then was mildly irritated for the remaining two hours.
The Depp-aissance Begins?
The Lone Ranger’s train chase scene is one of the best action sequences of 2013.
My Friend, God Has Forgiven Your Se
For years friends have told me I should watch Secret of the Kells. I put it off because I wasn’t interested yet. It sat in my streaming queue for years. I’ve pretended to have seen it to avoid the “I can’t believe you haven’t seen that!” or “How can you have not seen it?” Believe it. Easy, it looked boring. I haven’t been that bored yet. So many other great things to watch. Well, I decided to stop lying this week. I decided to watch it. And I was bored. Bored. Sawing Z’s bored. I made it 12:28 in before totally giving up. There, I’ve seen it. I can truthfully say “I have seen (12:28 of) The Secret of the Kells.” How many Our Fathers and Hail Marys will it take for me to be forgiven for this lie I’ve been telling for so many years.
This Little Indie Film…
I *still* haven’t seen the Godfather films and I *still* reference them.
Six In One Hand…
If I was given the choice between being given the ability to fly for the rest of my life or making all superhero movies and talk of superhero movies disappear for just one year, I’d have to reallllyyy think about my answer.
DiCaprio Breaks Even
I’m not mad Leonardo DiCaprio won his Oscar for The Revenant. AND I’ll even say I really liked that film; I enjoyed it more than most of the other Oscar contenders.
A Pirate’s Life for Me
I have seen Pirates of the Caribbean movie multiple times. I sneak in the back and secretly enjoy every single minute.
Heart of Stone
Oliver Stone is a complete hack who has never, ever made a good movie. He’s sensationalist trash.
And The Revenant Falls Back to 0
I, unashamedly, think The Revenant is a worse film than Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.
That’s an X-Men Talent
I get cinema hypnosis where seeing a movie on the big screen makes me instantly enjoy the movie. And I love it
The Master of Disappointment
The Master was probably the greatest letdown of my movie-watching life. The greatest cast, a compelling trailer, and I’ve never left a theater angrier than I was at that disaster.
Enough. Enough, already
I can’t stand superhero movies anymore. I used to love them, but I find those of my age and demographic who continue to embrace them on general principle lacking in thoughtful discretion and selective taste. As such, I don’t intend to see any of the major studio releases this year featuring men and women in tights.
An Anecdote with a SURPRISE Ending
I have a weird thing with 2001: A Space Odyssey. I rented it when I was very young and I absolutely hated it the first time I watched it. Granted, I was very young then, so I couldn’t necessarily grasp at many of the film’s themes going on within it.
A few years later, I decided to give it another go and honestly, it’s a big ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. It obviously looks stunning visually and I can truly see why it works on that level. However, there’s something about the way Stanley Kubrick chooses to tell the story that leaves me shrugging. I don’t feel connected to it quite honestly. This isn’t to say I’m like this towards a lot of experimental works (I love a lot of Terrence Malick’s work), but 2001 just feels a bit too haphazard for me to care.
I do get why it’s an important piece of work from Kubrick though and maybe if I watch it again at this stage in my life, I could get more out of it…either slightly or drastically.
All that said, I prefer its sequel 2010: The Year We Make Contact.
Yeah. I went there. Sue me.
I’ve never seen a single film by Akira Kurosawa, David Cronenberg, or David Lynch.
Holy Fan Battle
Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy is better than Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy.
I much prefer For A Few Dollars More to The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.
Work Backward; The Quality Trajectory Is Better
The only Tarantino film I’ve seen is THE HATEFUL EIGHT.
You Must Hate Christmas Movies?
I’ve never seen Die Hard, and I hope I die without ever doing so, even by accident. Also 90% of all movies starring a white guy holding a gun really, really suck.
Are You Sure It’s Not the Actors?
Tim Burton’s work is something like an 80% adaptation rate, and his style is predictabe as an Instagram filter that turns solid artististic content into a pile of garbage found outside a goth club
I think “Evil Dead II” is the only Sam Raimi-directed movie that can even qualify as watchable.
I’m tired of Mark Ruffalo’s sensitive, serious shtick (love 13 Going On 30, though, back when it was fresh)
“Cool Science, What Else Ya Got?”
I didn’t like Primer. OK, and didn’t really 100% get what was going on & not interested enough to care.
This. This is Interesting.
The Hotel Transylvania movies are better than most post-04 Pixars.
Okay, Two Pirates of the Caribbean Endorsements. Johnny Depp Reads Our Site, Clearly.
the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy? great. fantastic. as movie trilogies go, second only to the Lord of the Rings movies
That’s… Crazy (but Okay!)
I have an honest confession to make. I’m a fool. I haven’t seen Psycho and I kinda pretend I’ve seen it to avoid the backlash of HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN IT. I haven’t seen any Hitchcock film which is embarrassing, but I recognize his impact.
Let’s Talk Etiquette
I judge very harshly people who will get up at the end of a movie and walk out before the credits have finished rolling. Those are tens, hundreds, sometimes thousands of people who worked very hard to provide you with two hours of entertainment. Why can’t we just read the names and enjoy the music? And why, for the love of hot buttered popcorn are you walking in front of me as you are exiting the theater?! If you walk in front of me and are the reason I did not get to see my favorite filmmaker, an actor I’ve not seen before and want to know more about, or even a friend who worked on the film’s name, I will talk about you through gritted teeth and not so quietly either. I sat there and spent $13.00 before refreshments to see that and you made me miss it. I can’t exactly hit rewind can I?
With a few exceptions, I don’t find George Clooney interesting or compelling as an actor. Whenever he’s cast in something my enthusiasm for that movie immediately drops.
Is Anyone Watching These Yet?
I’ve never seen the Godfather movies, and whenever people reference them I just nod like I understand what they’re talking about.
It’s Good Fun That is Funny
I have watched Cat in the Hat more than 10 times and love it every single time I watch it.
Party on, [anonymous]
Wayne’s World is the greatest movie. Ever.
Yippee Ki Zzzzzz
I still can’t manage to stay awake to finish Die Hard. It puts me to sleep EVERY TIME.
A Preference For Compact Settings
i think that The Room is a better movie than The Revenant.
Star Wars War
“The Phantom Menace” made me fall in love with movies as a kid. I think it’s a better film than the original “Star Wars” (1977).
Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Sequels
I hated Back to the Future so much I won’t watch it again. Nor have I seen the sequels.
That Line Has to Get So Grating
I am from Kansas, and it is possible to have The Wizard of Oz foisted on you so many times that it becomes painful
That’s a Great Comparison. I Know It’s Not the Point But…
I didn’t enjoy Deadpool. At all. Well, maybe a little during the Monty Python black knight rip-off scene, but mostly I was not entertained.
You’re Not Supposed to Eat All the Chocolates At Once, Right?
I have never seen Forrest Gump all the way through. But I’ve seen (what I assume is) every scene in snippets when it’s played on AMC or USA or TNT, so I have no desire or intention to watch the film in its entirety.
That’s it for this year! Thanks, everyone!
Featured Image: Confessions II, Arista Records