It’s Star Wars Day, so that means more spin offs! Oddly enough, though I’ve written fifteen mini movie pitches, Disney still hasn’t got in touch. Weird. Anyway, here are five more Star Wars spin offs we would like to see.
Mace Windu and Yoda
A road trip movie about Mace and Yoda travelling to a far off planet to recruit a Jedi master. They get ambushed on the way and have an adventure fighting bad guys and exchanging quips. You could make them both masters or even have Yoda be training Mace. Samuel L. Jackson got short shrift in the prequels and Yoda is just awesome. Pair them together in a sort of Lethal Weapon-style buddy adventure would be a great way to get more of both characters and let Mace be Mace without Anakin cramping his style. Also, “Getting too old for this shit I am” is an immortal line. You can deny that all you want, but you would be wrong.
Rogue One looks amazing. It is backed up with a disgusting amount of talent, and, if it’s half as good as it looks, it will be amazing. So amazing that we posit it could be the first of a trilogy of between movies. Rogue Two tells the story of the rebels and their search for a new base after the destruction of the Death Star has made the Empire zealously pursue them across the galaxy. Rogue Two would be the team who has to find planets, check their suitability, and avoid the Empire. It’s a cat and mouse thing as the Rebellion is forced to stay ahead of the fleet with little resources and all hope lies in finding a new base. Rogue Three is trickier as it would technically need to be about stealing Death Star plans again and would mostly be watching Bothans die. Perhaps switch it up and Rogue Three is from the point of view of the people building the third Death Star, the architects and builders who would eventually be blown up. Actually that sounds really boring, just rehash the Death Star plans thing again.
One of the great things The Force Awakens did was to introduce new characters who somehow felt as though we already knew them. I spent a lot of my first watch of the movie trying to remember who Max Von Sydow’s character was in the previous movies because they wrote him so well that he instantly, even though he was only featured briefly, felt like a Star Wars staple character of old. The same goes for Maz Kanata. Lupita Nyong’o’s Maz is a fantastic character. She’s a thousand years old, knows everything, is funny, charming, and has a crush on Chewbacca. A movie about her life or about the denizens of her castle and how she’s collected this disparate group of pirates and monsters would be incredible, and it would give us more Lupita and you can never get too much Lupita.
Usually these spin offs focus on the good guys. What about a movie that followed the life of a Stormtrooper from training through to his inevitable demise? I’m thinking of basically Full Metal Jacket in the Star Wars world. We follow a young man or woman with aspirations of travelling the galaxy who joins the Empire. They are trained, have a run in with Darth Vader or Grand Moff Tarkin, and then are deployed during the opening battle of A New Hope or a different battle we’ve only heard of. If done well it could be a game changer and re-shape the way we watch the other movies once we know that there’s a real person in the suit who’s getting callously blown away.
Jar Jar Jedi?
When a mix up at the Jedi academy makes Jar Jar Binks eligible for training you know there’s nothing but hilarity coming your way. Jar Jar must learn to fight with a lightsaber (“Meesa hold the shiny end?”), move things with his mind (“But meesa brain no lift the thingy”), and maybe, maybe he’ll learn the true meaning of friendship. Yeah, this is the worst thing I’ve ever written. You’re welcome.
Featured Image: 20th Century Fox