A few weeks ago, I wrote an article about four TV shows that should/could be movies. In the time since then I have not been approached by a single TV executive wanting to use any of my pitches (though I’m pretty sure Marvel got Spider-man back from Sony out of fear of me and Diego Crespo managing to make the best TV show ever from it, essentially ruining them). With that in mind, I thought I’d roll the dice again and pitch four more. Come get me, studio execs; I am cheap and full of wacky ideas. What’s not to like?
The structure of this show would have to be a little unique. Just watching characters chase and kill each other each week would grow old quick unless you had a hook. And I have a hook. You structure the TV show version of the movie classic Battle Royale as though it is reality TV. You bring in Ryan Seacrest (or the modern equivalent) to host it as though it is really happening. You add in an idea that a month prior to the kids being transported to the island to film a documentary that is being made about their school. Each episode would cut between footage from the documentary in which characters would talk in confessionals about who they had crushes on and talk about grievances that can’t be aired in school, and scenes set on the island in which these same school children are now tasked with murdering each other. Done well and with the right editor, this would be something very special. Also thanks to Richard Newby for putting this title in my mind as a possible choice for this article.
An American Werewolf in London
I talked a bit about this idea in my review of the movie. Something I find incredibly compelling about this film is the opening scenes of the Yorkshire town held in the grip of the wolf. They know something is up but are keeping their secrets from outsiders. I would happily watch a spin off movie about this town. Make it sort of like Twin Peaks but set in The Pennines (Google them, Americans). Perhaps each season would focus upon a different monster plaguing the town of Yorkshire drunks until the final season and the coming of the werewolf. Hell, the last ever episode could end with two American tourists moseying into town without a care in the world as they approach The Slaughtered Lamb for a drink before they go for a walk on the moors.
This one would be hard to pull off, but given the right creative team and actors, I think this could be cool. It would need to be set in the period before Godfather Part One and after the Vito flashbacks in Part Two. It would tell the story of Vito’s consolidation of power and the growth of his teenage sons and daughter. It would show a young Luca Brasi doing the fucked up stuff that built his legend, Sonny earning his rep on the street and finding Tom Hagen, and show the young Michael trying to break away from the family but inevitably finding himself drawn back to it. In the right hands this could be brilliant. In the wrong hands it would literally be the worst thing that ever happened ever. Yeah, maybe not worth the risk.
Aliens Vs Predator
The two movies baring this title have been awful. Some of the comics, books, and video games however were pretty good so there’s legs to it, given the right approach. My approach would be simple: go nuts with it. The plot runs thusly, space marines are fighting two different alien species at war with each other until they encounter a super computer called Skynet which has created a race of soldiers called Robocops. The space marines, while escaping an army of Predators, Aliens, Terminators, and Robocops crash land on Pandora and have to try and seek the help of the native Na’vi, who themselves are at war with an army of Replicant Starship Troopers led by John Spartan (aka The Demolition Man). By the ninth (and final) season every conceivable sci-fi franchise would be swallowed up by the show until the final scene is simply a fist fight between Ridley Scott and James Cameron that is actually all taking place in the Matrix.
Battle Royale, Toei Company