Today, brother, we’re gonna take a trip through the acting career of Hulk Hogan. Hulkster rips through movie cameos the way his 24 inch pythons ripped through the WWF. Hulkamania got its start in the squared circle, but Hogan always had his eye on the silver screen. To celebrate his 60th birthday, I’ve listed his top 5… well, not necessarily good, but his top 5 appearances on the big screen, brothers! So, grab your vitamins and say a prayer because whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania on the silver screen run’s wild on you!
5. Rocky III
I wonder what the writers/producers where thinking on this one (and by writers/producers, I mean Sylvester Stallone…). Sly Stallone: “I got it, we’ll get Hulk Hogan to play a wrestler. Let’s call him Thunderlips, because why not. Thunderlips vs. The Italian Stallion! Brilliant. It’ll be a for a fundraiser, this is the literally the point where I’ve stopped caring about my career. Hogan will beat up on me before we take a picture together and we can give Hogan tickets to the red carpet when we win my second Best Picture?” Yeah, not quite…
Verdict: Probably the second worst decision of Hogan’s career.
4. 3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain
Here we go, friends. Let’s get into the real Hulkamania. What you’ve all dreamed about. Hulk Hogan playing a retired TV star named Dave Dragon, dressed up in red spandex pants with odd looking suspenders, and teaming up with the 3 Ninjas. What more could you ask for? Well, throw in an army of Ninjas led by a lady named Medusa and we are down for the count.
Verdict: The Hulkster runs wild on these Ninjas.
3. No Holds Barred
There is nothing more beautiful than unintentional cinematic comedy gold, especially when Hogan is involved. You wanna know something, brother? Say what you want, this movie is fun. Not only did it (kind of) predict the future (WWE vs WCW), it placed a new notch on the wall of cheesy bad Hollywood films. And that final fight scene will go down in hokey history.
Verdict: Hogan flies off the ropes and Atomic Leg Drops the life out of us.
2. The Ultimate Weapon
What do a stripper, Hulk Hogan, and a grenade launcher have in common? Wait, don’t answer that. Let’s just focus on this action-packed Sylvester Stallone knockoff. This film was so badass that Hulkamania Nation couldn’t even handle it (It was originally released in Hungary). Hulk Hogan stars as a badass named Cutter, he fights some IRA gun-runners because, again, why not?
Verdict: Hogan does to his Ultimate Weapon role what he did to The Ultimate Warrior. In the end, Hogan knocked them both back to parts unknown.
1. Suburban Commando
Shelley Duvall, Christopher Lloyd, and Hulk Hogan! That’s Like watching the A Team on an acid trip. Hulk plays a brute, alien warrior named Shep Ramsey (awesome name). After mistakenly crashing on earth, he rents an apartment and…after that? Well… it all runs wild.
Verdict: A WWF championship.
“I promised each and every Hulkamaniac when I went to that great battlefield in the sky I would bring the WWF title with me.” – Hulk Hogan