We’re opening the doors to the way back machine once again so we can see what Wonder Woman would have been like if they had made it in the 1960s, instead of us having to wait until 2017 to see Diana lead a big budget blockbuster movie. Really, Groot the talking tree was in two movies before Wonder Woman was released, and we’ve seen seven different actors play Batman.
We’ve now jumped into our parallel universe, time-travel doohickey, and we’ve brought back some info about the movies that should have been and never were:
Deep in the jungles of Vietnam, Doctor Poison (Pam Grier) hatches her deadly plot to destroy the US’s allies and spread Communism through Asia and the world. Hotshot pilot Steve Trevor (Steve McQueen) discovers her plot but, as he tries to escape, his plane is shot down, landing on Paradise Island. Rescued by the Amazon warrior known as Wonder Woman (Diana Rigg), Steve instantly falls in love and asks Wonder Woman for help with stopping Poison and winning the war against the Commies. Travelling from Paradise Island to Moscow to New York, the globetrotting pair find themselves in a race against time to defeat Poison, end Communism, and save the world.
Directed by Ida Lupino.
When Richard Nixon is revealed to be a vessel for Hades, Lord of the Underworld, Captain Steve Trevor (Robert Redford) is assigned by the shadow government of the USA to find a hero who can save them. Aided by archaeologist Etta Candy (Carol Burnett), Steve discovers an island that is supposedly filled with warrior women. He travels to the island and is quickly imprisoned by the Amazons. While a captive, he finds sympathy from one of them, Wonder Woman (Lynda Carter), who he convinces to help him escape so that together they can defeat Hades. Can Trevor and Wonder Woman defeat the Lord of the Underworld? Does Wonder Woman really need Steve’s help in this endeavour? Can Nixon’s reign of terror finally, finally be ended?
Directed by Barbara Kopple.
In a world gripped by the Cold War, Ares the God of War (Arnold Schwarzenegger) descends from Mount Olympus to turn the Cold War hot. When Russian troops decide to add the island of Themyscira to the evil empire, they aren’t expecting to find resistance in the form of Wonder Woman (Geena Davis) who quickly teaches them one of the rules of Paradise Island: No Commies allowed. Travelling the world to help stop the spread of insidious Communism and put an end to Ares’ influence, Wonder Woman is joined by Captain Steve Trevor (Michael Biehn), a war hero with a dark past, who must put aside his feelings for the Amazon if he wants to help save the world.
Directed by Kathryn Bigelow.
After a fallout with her mother, Wonder Woman (Angela Bassett) heads to America to see what all the fuss is about. She quickly finds herself far removed from the tropical paradise she calls home and lost in a world of skyscrapers, beepers, and Gameboys. Making friends with native New Yorker, Etta Candy (Lisa Kudrow), Wonder Woman tries to hold down a job working at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It is only when co-worker, Barbara Ann Minerva (Sandra Bullock), opens up a strange amulet and turns into the villainous Cheetah, that Wonder Woman must reveal her true colours, save the day, and fend off the advances of the penniless war hero, Steve Trevor (Freddie Prinze Jr.) and the mysterious billionaire, Bruce Wayne (George Clooney). Girl Power!
Directed by Nora Ephron.
Featured Image: Warner Bros. Pictures
Edited for content on 5/30